*Subject: **Heightened Security*
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."
Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re‑categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
9 comments:
Wow, there were a lot of fancy words there – I might need a dictionary :p
regarding changing sides - well, if you can beat the, join them?
You'll notice that there's no mention of Sweden in there ?
That's because I'm being careful who I annoy !
M.
Hahahaha -good post!
I particularly liked the Spanish navy getting a closer look on the old Spanish Navy... there were some errors there that do not need to be repeated! LOL
LOVE your post - thank God I caught it Friday, after a looooooooong week... :) Grazie
Oh, DO mention Sweden... but they have only three terror allerts, I can tell you that:
1) Look at others and critique
2) Worry and blow imaginary threat out of proportion
3) Collaborate with both sides to get the best out of it all while pretending to maintain neutral
It's been working well in the past, and it not broke, why fix it?
LOL
The other Swedish terror alert seems to be charge so much for a pint of beer that no-one ever gets drunk or angry.
Doesn't bother me much as I hardly ever drink.
M.
It has to be said, most people seem to have lost interest in the terror threat now.
I hardly ever hear people talking about it.
The smoking ban, yes.
I suppose the Irish response would be to declare an alert, then for another faction to dispute of that alert and declare an alert against the first faction. Yet a third faction would shout loudly 'NO SURRENDER ULSTER IS TERRORIST'.
Am I speaking to an Irishman here ?
And how do you feel about the smoking ban ?
I seem to recall an Irish anthem from my days in Dublin with a chorus of "The cry was no surrender....".
Happy days.
M.
Had to smile. Very George Mikes-ish.
I've never read anything by George Mikes : you've just persuaded me to do so.
Merci,
M.
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