Once again I have been forced to abandon my beloved United Kingdom (God bless all who sail in her) for a few days with the savages in Western Europe - in this case the aptly named "Benelux" countries. Back around 28 August.
Just to set the right tone a few endearing words from my old friend Mr John Dowie who suprisingly hasn't been certified or sectioned (or murdered) yet - but I probably will be if he ever reads this :
[Lalalala - Dick van Dyke]
I'm a British Tourist and I'm very, very rude.
I hate the stinking foreigners-hate their stinking food
I don't like French or Germans
I don't care for Belgians much
But worst of all worst of all
I hate the Dutch
The Dutch, the Dutch
I hate them worse than dogs.
They live in windmills
and mince around in clogs.
They don't have any manners
They don't say 'thanks' or 'please'
all they eat is tulips
and stinking gouda cheese...
I'm a British tourist with a countenance severe
I love to strike the foreign type and box their poxied ears
But there's one woggy dago
I cannot bear to touch
The slimy crawling ,stench appalling, snotty grotty Dutch
The Dutch are mad
Their fingers stuck in dikes
They use the wrong side of the road
And ride around on bikes
They don't have any manners,
don't have any brains.
There's only one race worse than them
and that's... THE DANES!
5 comments:
Have a safe and exciting trip. ;)
There's only one race worse than them
and that's... THE DANES!
*snicker*
Looove it.
See, from that poem I'd have say you were America cuz you know when Americans travel abroad they expect everyone to know English and why the hell does everyone drive on the wrong side?!?! :-P
Have fun dah-ling!!!
You've left the country? Don't forget your passport!
I guess this will give me time to catch up on your blog, seeing as this is my first time here.
I've never been to Wales. When you get back you'll have to give me some pointers.
I'm a standup comedienne in NYC blogging her way to stardom. Feel free to stop by when you return!
The danes!!! hahahah you should see the pic of st george and the dragon - the dragon symbolized the danes ;)
you rich vagabond you (or should i say tourist) :p
Dear Ladies,
Thank-you ; I'm now safely back home (but only just this time).
That really was the trip of a lifetime. Never again.
( I think we've heard him say that before!).
M.
Post a Comment